stardate… unknown
As I sit here working on our company website, the thought crosses my mind... everything I've done for the company thus far is starting to seem much more formidable and completely worth the minor annoyances for everyone they caused at the time (but I believe firmly that you can't make an omelet .dot.dot.dot). And as I count the interruptions I am getting, questions about where files are and how to . . . I realize "i'm smack dab in the middle of an IT position." but you know what, after the 15th, when my promotion (salary) is applied it will all be worth it, and that is to say that the proverbial dust is still settling.
i’m insane… or slightly neurotic
ok so a few hours after my post about daniel, I'm over helping him with his car - we didn't solve the problem this time.
Everything's cool for him, but apparently I'm the crazy one who starts to read into stuff way too much. His brothers were there, and of course he was spending his time with the one he doesn't see so often, I understand that, and it's cool. But for some reason, I feel like his feelings got hurt yesterday though he'll never admit it, and I was kind of spurring his brothers light criticism by chiming in while we were diagnosing his car - things daniel knows but for whatever reason doesn't say, that help in the diagnosis (one of his brothers is a mechanic). Every now and then I felt like a know-it-all, though I was keeping a good distance because I'm truly no professional, but I do know enough to talk to pros.
So, I left feeling neglected and frustrated, which is neurotic of course because it's all in my head, and looking back, there's no reason for it.
My stoic friend
So as it happens, there seems to always be a "Daniel" in my life to latch on to. The odd thing with daniel now, is that I have some very confusing feelings circulating inside, about him.
In a situation where I have Devin, and Daniel has Jen, he and I seem to share a brotherly bond, which is just an amazing feeling since I've always wanted a loyal brother.
The confusion comes into play where I constantly realize how attractive my friend is, and myself dedicated to respecting a certain boundary as far as our friendship goes - I really couldn't ask for more from him to tolerate - much less accept and validate my sexuality and relationship. That bearing in mind, he was essentially raised by a stern father, and 3 older brothers, which surprisingly molded him into someone so similar yet more alert and astute than i. Our strengths amazingly complement each other. I have excellent project planning, execution and a great level of patience, and he has brute force and a certain way of providing a passive input and a protective outlook to whatever it is we are working on at the moment which enables the both of us to get a task done and done well. In that sense, we work together i.e. on cars so well without EVER getting in each others way - even in a tight space or in a frustrating situation, we seem to cool each other down, he more than i, cause I get frustrated and start to disconnect - and he brings me back in check. The dynamic is pretty much like him being an older protective brother, who respects my intelligence and provides me the confidence and room to grow it.
Candy is a treat…
...and should be eaten in moderation.
So says Hershey on the inside of a Payday bar (which I just ravenously consumed) wrapper. Which makes me think.. so many consumable products which require disclaimers, i.e. cigarettes, alcohol, and apparently candy. Just funny that in a world of chronic obesity and childhood diabetes, these things require warnings of moderation. You'd think modern man was a glutton with not enough to do during the day (or conversely, too much to do and unhealthy pocketable foods/products are easier to carry around).
So tomorrow is my birthday, and seems everyone else is more excited than I. it's a busy week in terms of birthday, there is at least one that I know of on every day from the 1st to the 5th. I will be 23, but for some reason it feels very natural, in terms of remembering that's my age when asked... When I turned 22, months later I was still saying "21.. uh no 22 I mean...". But lately even before now, I was already accidentally saying "23". Weird. Maybe saying 23 just sounds more respectable, I dunno. Everyone has off extra days this week for my or someone else's birthday, except me - LOL, I guess I could just take the day off with no loss, but I'd rather not a) miss the hours and b) have my work pile up for monday. It's not so bad, I have weekends off anyway.